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DEATH OR A CHANCE TO LOVE [408:14] – Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm

Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm [2019]

Dreams awaken by intangible memories. In a glance. Then another glance. Within a thousand tangible smiles. Hidden laughter behind our new found light. Your eyes blinked even though your lips were not moving. Just blinking.

Eyes. Stolen glances. Found out. Captured. Draws you in. The magnitude of a black hole impossible to escape, takes us to an indefinite place. The beginning of an adventure, knowingly given to us by fate. During the late nights, where the questions become your companion, where you are the desire, where the songs are mocked. Laughter is the soul, passion in place of answers.

We find the memories, even though they have yet to take place. Convenient lies. Gentleness beyond passion. Passion burning in our chest.

We are not pilots, hence we tend to get lost when we fly, and we’re not sure which way we should go. Where are we flying to? The question gives rise to the injustice of it all. In order to dream? Perhaps it is a challenge? Does life simply distract us from our past and present duties?

Is it because we took what isn’t ours to take? Or once again, the choices we have made in the past have taken away our present chance?

I know, I can’t answer those questions. All I can do is to stay silent as I listen to those haunting songs in the dark. Without laughter, without passion, your thoughts are buried under layers of dust and loneliness.

I think, I feel, I know, me, myself, and I… Your late night companion knows somewhat. The quiet whisper in your ear, indiscernible because the questions come with no answers. In retrospect, you find those you thought you knew, but they were too scared, they wanted to be left in peace. All of it is just a riddle, another test, a lesson in life.

To change the course of an adventure, we have to leave things undone. The thing we call purpose, we regret nothing because we have claws.

I miss that look, your smiling soul igniting within me. Passion searching for a chance thought to have been hidden away, burning as though with nothing to lose. The maddening prospect, the strangest thing dwelling within me filling me up overflowing within me. I miss the memories I could not see.

The stupidity of accepting such pain. I will one day sleep. And when the dream is awakened, it will show us the way.

Source: DEATH OR A CHANCE TO LOVE [408:14] – Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm

It is the fire within one’s belly – Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm

One uses to burn memories and desire

Short lived ecstasy of a ride
Hides the pain of love.

And I have tried
take that higher path
It’s so hard

A pause
righteousness

I am a demon no less
Blessed with the right to be kind
If only just
in my mind

Allow me this
Let me tell you that you are missed
More than that last kiss.

Ahh the sickly sweetness
Pains me.

Source: It is the fire within one’s belly – Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm