Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm | Alienation is demoralizing (212)

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By Nguyễn Thị Phương Trâm

 

Alienation is demoralizing, the isolation crushing, especially under all the moist damp spit and pity. What can one do? Sit and cry, sure, I’ve done that. I’ve wept so often that I wonder if it is menopause or post traumatic stress syndrome from a war that’s almost half a century buried in oblivion. I ask myself daily why I do anything at all. Why? 

 

I am from a lost generation ignorant of my roots and culture. The garbage generation. I am accused of not being able to read and write my native language, I am accused of not being able to spell in my adopted country. I am accused of living in the past. I am accused of drowning in my own pity, let alone more pity from any privileged outsider. How do I identify myself? If I can not, what will happen…

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