Soul Dancing: A Big Pile of Smart-Ass Predictions for 2021 That Probably Won’t Come True but I Can Still Dream About Them in My Fortress of Solitude

Bonnywood Manor

Note: This list is actually from two years ago, but the song remains the same, for the most part…

1. Car manufacturers will finally develop a special button for your dashboard which, when pushed, will cause the car in front of you at the drive-thru ATM, wherein the occupant is taking forever to make a simple transaction, to be hurled into the blazing hell of the sun.

2. Said manufacturers will also develop a secondary button, one that can be pushed if you happen to be the twit who can’t grasp modern technology or science, sending a message to Fox News that they should defend your idiocy no matter how much you lie and thus preventing your otherwise-deserved immolation. These dual buttons will basically exemplify current American politics. (Future Historian: “And in the year 2019, 2020, 2021it all came down to button-pushing and scare tactics and threats of…

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