For a while I suspected Trump was playing some weird game, telling people to stop talking about her clothes and then wearing a jacket that said “I really don’t care, do u?” while en route to an immigrant child detention centre. Was she gaslighting us with fashion? Then I wondered if perhaps the problem was that she was just so used to having to be mute around the spray-tanned Stay Puft Marshmallow Man she married that she could not help but try to talk through her clothes. But after jacketgate and what I am calling Belloqgate, I think it’s more simple: her stylist is a genius insurrectionist on the inside, working to make the Trumps look even more deranged than they are. There really is no other explanation, and, personally, I salute that stylist. I cannot wait for her SS-inspired wardrobe for her trip to Germany. Start polishing those black boots, Melania!