(satire?)

The government has confirmed it will very soon sell off most of the Royal Males – including Prince Philip, Prince Charles and Prince Harry – in the most contentious privatisation since the sale of British Rail two decades ago.

Vince Cable, the business secretary, on Thursday formally fired the starting gun on the £3bn sale of the princes by filing a formal “intention to float” the male successors to the throne on the stock exchange within six weeks.

At least half of the Royal Family is expected to be floated with the rest of the female members to be sold off at a later date if there is sufficient demand from investors.

Even Margaret Thatcher, who privatised British Gas, British Airways, British Telecom and dozens of other state-owned institutions in the 1980s, famously refused to countenance a sale of the Royal Family, saying she was “not prepared to have the Queen’s head…

“I see her far away in the distance.” a youngun called.

The tall looming lady was a welcome sight after long weeks at sea.

“Hot meals will be a welcome relief after weeks of soapy soup,” the weary matron thought.

The pretty girl, in the gown, that was beginning to show its wear, wore a tight smile. ” I hope he likes me; there is nothing to go back to if I’m sent back.”

“Will there really be work for the likes of a scrawny boy with naught but two pence to rub together?”

The Lady distanced herself from the expectations.

Today at Friday Fictioneers Rochelle has up whipping up stories on the sea entering New York harbor.

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(not satire – it’s the UK today!)

A jobseeker has had his benefits stopped for 13 weeks as punishment for applying for too many jobs.

No – it’s not satire.

Castleford Jobcentre Plus sanctioned a jobseeker for applying for six jobs in one week and none the second, instead of three in each week.

Here’s the full story from local newspaper the Pontefract and Castleford Express:

Benefit cut in job hunt row

In the article, the DWP actually openly admit it’s more important to them that jobseekers “play” by their rules rather than look for work:

We make it clear to people at the start of their claim what the rules are and that they risk losing their benefits if they don’t play by them.

The way the DWP talk about ‘playing’ by the rules – it’s clear being unemployed is just a game to them.

That would be…