(satire?)

Our elite team of investigative reporters here at Pride’s Purge has uncovered startling new evidence that David Cameron is working as an Al Qaeda operative.

After many hours of painstaking research involving reading the Daily Mirror and Googling stuff, we have uncovered evidence which irrefutably proves that our PRIME MINISTER is working undercover to aid terrorist organisations to BLOW UP our parliament.

According to reports, the government is considering taking the contract to protect Westminster away from the Metropolitan Police and giving it to gaffe-prone private security cowboys G4S.

G4S are the same company who completely failed to fulfil their contract to protect the London Olympics and are the firm involved in these scandals:

G4S Embassy Guards Sacked By US Government For Drinking Vodka Out Of Each Others’ Bottoms. Not satire – it’s true!

Not satire – prisoner escaped curfew after G4S mistakenly tagged his false leg!

Giving the contract…

Here’s an interesting fact for you: if a medical case qualifies as untransferable, a hospital cannot refuse to admit it. A woman in labor is one of those cases.

It so happened to be my luck that I had night duty on a day that a woman came in labor. Of course, this is not out of the ordinary for any healthcare establishment and the hospital I was at was more than equipped. This woman, however, had already delivered the baby whose color was slowly turning blue, asphyxiating as the placenta remained inside his mother’s womb.

The Red Cross personnel rushed her in. They had already been refused entry at a previous hospital despite their pleading. They carried her over to our floor. She had no known physician. She said she was married but neither her husband nor any family member for that matter were anywhere to be found. She…

 Main Headlines

 Monday

• Muslim Brotherhood rejects appeal to ‘swallow reality’
• Brotherhood’s Shater met with foreign delegation, son says
• McCain and Graham arrive in Cairo
• ‪Egypt still restive after month of bloodshed
• Right groups meet with Minister of Interior
• Egypt end jail terms for insulting president
• 15 injured in Minya’s sectarian clashes

Tuesday

• US Senators urge end to violence in Egypt and release of MB leaders
• Constitutional legitimacy before truce: Freedom and Justice Party
• ElBaradei laments state newspaper’s attack on him
• US Senator McCain, in Cairo, says Egypt near ‘all-out bloodshed’
• Foreign politicians ‘exceed international norms’: Presidency

Wednesday

• A day before Eid celebrations, and no end in sight for government-Brotherhood crisis
• PM says decision to disperse pro-Mursi protests is final‪
• Brotherhood’s Beltagi and preacher Safwat Heghazy referred to court
• Constitutional Amendment Commission revealed
• 11 arrested for Saturday violence in Minya

 Thursday

• EU envoy is…

(not satire – it’s the UK today)

Eddy Shah and his other (mainly establishment) supporters have argued that if an under-age girl consents to sex with an adult it’s not the guy’s fault for going ahead and having sex with her.

This is a very clear attempt to blur the lines on what is actually a very simple matter. 

Presumably even Shah would agree it’s not OK for an adult to have ‘consensual’ sex with a 5-year old – because clearly a child of that age would be too young to understand what they have consented to?

OK – so at what age does Shah and his rich, famous and powerful supporters think someone is capable of consenting to sex? 7? 10? 12?

In this country, we have agreed that the age a child can legally consent to sex is 16.

If Shah and his supporters think 16 is too…